Gateau des Rois

The other day I had my first Gâteau des Rois*, or "Cake of Kings" for those who aren't in the know, and I am only typing it up now as I have been busy typing up other things for this blog. Soon I will probably need glasses and will have a mighty hump from sitting in front of the laptop in the non-ergonomic way we all do (yes ALL, don't try and be high and mighty if you have one of those silly chairs. We all know you rarely use it). Anyway, apparently it is a French custom to eat Gâteau des Rois in January, around the 4th or something), in order to celebrate the kings coming to visit little, baby, barely a month old Jesus. It is the cake that the three Kings supposedly ate and it is kind of like an apple pie pastry thingy, except without bits of apple, is mostly thick pastry and tastes like almonds instead. Now I am certain of one thing, whatever cake those kings may, or may not, have eaten in that story that may, or may not, be true, they definitely did not have a tiny, little stone cupcake hidden in there to break your teeth on. Yes, it is also a French custom to hide a tiny little surprise inside each Gâteau des Rois and whoever finds it, hidden amongst their slice, is deemed "the king" or "queen" and gets to wear a crown for the remainder of the meal (which I assume isn't for very long, unless you're eating cake for the main course). I don't fully understand how this became a custom, and I'm not going to do the research now, but I am left thinking if anyone stopped to wonder if it would be dangerous to hide some mall, hard, chokeable object inside a cake, because guess who found the devilish thing in their piece the other day? Yes, that's right, me! (sorry to anyone who may have guessed otherwise, but come on, the question was easier than the ones constantly asked of you by Dora the Explorer**). Even when I was first informed about the fact that there would be something hidden in the cake, I still managed to chomp down into a mouthful and practically crack my top right canine. WHY IS THE SURPRISE MADE OF STONE?! Seriously, plastic or a bit of foam would be ever so slightly safer. Once I got over the trauma of finding a small, hard cake hidden inside my cake, I held a small coronation whereupon I was named king of the flat and was rewarded my small cardboard crown that comes with the cake when you buy it. It is indeed an odd custom, but when you think about it, it is a little more creative and fun than some of things we do back home, like sticking hundreds and thousands on bread with butter and serving it at kids parties. Wait, who am I kidding? Fairy bread is awesome, and I'm pretty sure it is made by real fairies, unlike this Gâteau de Rois*** which is not made by Kings and has probably left many people wondering why their leaders all have chipped front teeth. Bon appétit !

*Actually called Galette des Rois, go figure

**I do not watch Dora the Explorer

***Fun game, try and figure out how many times I said "Gâteau des Rois" in this post. The answer is more than four and less than six