I live with a creature I call The Big Lazy, whose inability to wake never ceases to amaze me. She sleeps really heavy and she moans and she groans if you wake her before midday or don’t speak in hushed tones. She’s not normally like this, but her transformation is complete as soon as she gets the slightest wink’s worth of sleep. I wake every morning and potter about, trying to figure this Big Lazy thing out. I stand by the kettle and brew coffee and tea (the tea for her, the coffee for me) and I somehow feel I’ve suffered defeat. For The Big Lazy won’t drink coffee you see, opting instead for a nice cup of tea. If only she’d enjoy a warm shot of Arabica, she might wake in the morn with a new wind inside of her. Instead, she just lies there, pulling faces of pain, as I’m trying to wake her again and again. And if the toast isn’t ready, or her tea fully brewed, by the time she’s woken in a terrible mood, then you better watch out for she’s prone to get grumpy if her morning routine isn’t done properly. I do what I can because I love her so bad, and don’t like to see whenever she’s sad. I soon found a trick to making this Big Lazy happy and it’s got to be done real quick and snappy. As soon as you rise, give her a peck on the cheek and a smile will appear, however so weak. The smile will spread and soon there’s, instead, the bright happy girl who’d first gone to bed.